104 lines
5.4 KiB
Text
104 lines
5.4 KiB
Text
STAGES OF ACQUISITION: Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction - "I want it." Justification: Moral excuse used to explain - "I must have it!" Appropriation: To take to one's self in exclusion of others - "IT'S MINE AT LAST!" Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation - "My Precious!" Resale: The action of selling something previously bought - "Make me an offer."
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1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
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2 The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
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3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
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4 A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
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5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.
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6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
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7 Keep your ears open.
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9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
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10 Greed is eternal.
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11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
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12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
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13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
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14 Anything stolen is pure profit.
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15 Acting stupid is often smart.
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16 A deal is a deal.
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17 A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi.
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18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
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19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
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21 Never place friendship above profit.
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22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
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23 Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money.
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24 Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
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25 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
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27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
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31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
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33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
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34 War is good for business
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35 Peace is good for business.
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45 Expand or die.
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47 Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
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48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
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52 Never ask when you can take.
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57 Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
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58 There is no substitute for success.
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59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
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60 Keep your lies consistent.
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62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
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65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
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69 When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.
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74 Knowledge equals profit.
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75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
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76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
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79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
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82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
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85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
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89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
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94 Females and finances don't mix.
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95 Expand or die.
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97 Enough...is never enough.
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98 Every man has his price.
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99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
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102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
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103 Sleep can interfere with an opportunity.
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104 Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
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106 There is no honor in poverty.
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109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
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111 Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
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112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.
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113 Always have sex with the boss.
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121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
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123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
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125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
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139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
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141 Only fools pay retail.
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144 There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
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162 Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
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168 Whisper your way to success.
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177 Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
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181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
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189 Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.
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- A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
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190 Hear all, trust nothing.
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192 Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.
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194 It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
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202 The justification for profit is profit.
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203 New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
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208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
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211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
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214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
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217 You can't free a fish from water.
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218 Always know what you're buying.
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223 (incomplete, but presumably concerned the relationship between "keeping busy" and "being successful")
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229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
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236 You can't buy fate.
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239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
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242 More is good...all is better.
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255 A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
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261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
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263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
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266 When in doubt, lie.
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284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
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285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
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286 When Morn leaves, it's all over.
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299 After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
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- Exploitation begins at home.
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(The unwritten rule) When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
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- When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits ... kill the messenger.
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- Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
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- Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
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- Money is money, but females are better.
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- Why ask, when you can take?
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- A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
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- If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
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