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Doug McIlroy can get a 1 out of /dev/zero.
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Doug McIlroy can change file permissions using a magnet and a pin.
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Doug McIlroy can read data from /dev/null.
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Doug McIlroy can address 8 terabytes of RAM with only 32 bits.
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Doug McIlroy can handle SIGKILL.
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Doug McIlroy spawns Init.
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Doug McIlroy can hard-link across devices.
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Doug McIlroy can create 3-ended pipes.
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Doug McIlroy dreams in binary.
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Doug McIlroy eats serial ports for breakfast.
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Doug McIlroy doesn't have an Erdos number; Erdos has a McIlroy number.
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Doug McIlroy prototyped /dev/random with a toothpick and 4 cans of baked beans.
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Doug McIlroy invented pipes.
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Doug McIlroy thinks asm is for sissies.
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Doug McIlroy invented diff to win a bet.
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Doug McIlroy can read unbound variables.
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Doug McIlroy can disprove tautologies.
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Doug McIlroy's programs always terminate -- sometimes each other.
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Doug McIlroy's programs don't need a garbage collector; they pick up their OWN garbage.
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Doug McIlroy doesn't make system calls. System calls call Doug McIlroy.
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Doug McIlroy doesn't use malloc to allocate memory. He uses his bare hands.
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Doug McIlroy doesn't debug. He stares at tty0 until it fixes the problem.
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Once, Doug McIlroy got mad at his terminal and smacked the keyboard. The result is called "Unix."
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Alan Turing always wanted to win a McIlroy Award, but didn't qualify. No one has.
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In 1984, the Department of Justice broke up AT&T because they had a monopoly. On Doug McIlroy.
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Doug McIlroy supervises the hypervisor.
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Doug McIlroy understands the internals of a hidden Markov model.
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Doug McIlroy patented macros.
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At Bell Labs, computers regularly crashed in fear when Doug McIlroy entered the room.
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