/sys/games/lib/fortuntes: merge in cat-v fortunes file.
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stanley lieber
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@ -4279,3 +4279,155 @@ Subject: Departs: 7:00 PM Thu Dec 02 2010 Washington, DC - Union Station (WAS) S
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complete SoC on a chip - Tilera
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There is no application installed for executable files. Do you want to search for an application to open this file?
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There's no 'I' in team, but there's a 'u' in suck.
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There are no pastel paints in the dungeons and dragons world. - Rob Pike
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The guys who invented autoconf/automake/configure/libtool must have been drug addicts. - Garbeam
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<anothy_x> it always seems bizarre to me when people are doing anything new-ish in asn.1. i expect to documentation to be written in old english or norse runes or something.
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A futurist is just an early revisionist. - Tim Newsham
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Dis code doesnt fuck arround - cinap_lenrek
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ssh, the emacs of network protocols
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A libertarian is a conservative who has been arrested.
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A libertarian is a liberal who learned economics.
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FIST-philosophy: Fuck It Sucks Terribly -- n0nsense speaking about dbus in #suckless
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people who wear clever computing shirts are the opposite of samurais - Capso
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CL's loop is so powerful that people invented functional programming so that they'd never have to use it. - G_Morgan
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Ruby on Rails, the PHP of a new generation. - beefhooked
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You should use an in-memory SQL database! It's the answer to all data structure questions. - Ian Lance Taylor
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every time i look at main.go, i get hungry - dho
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you throw humans into lions? Wouldn't that anger animal rights evangelists? Don't you have to cook the humans first? - 20h
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Dr. Strange Love: How I Learned to Stop Being a Fag and Love the Clit - Capso
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gentoo|gen-poo| noun - 1. The sport of hitting compiler bugs.
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op-ti-mize [verb (trans.)]* ... (gcc) to modify executable code so that it fails more quickly.
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Cloud stands for: I'm too stupid to know about the server client concept. - 20h
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PGD_DDCANCREATED3DBUFFER pfnDdCanCreateD3DBuffer = (PGD_DDCANCREATED3DBUFFER)gpDxFuncs[DXG_INDEX_DxDdCanCreateD3DBuffer].pfn;
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OSX is the operating system personification of the Bourgeoisie tendancy towards hedonistic uselessness
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<kfx> there should be a way to compile without -Wulrich
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spaceinvader@oftc.net#suckless> rms doesn't wash his clothes because the washing machine might have binary firmware
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vt3@freenode#plan9> well, philosophy and plan 9 have something in common...they are both dead.
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major@freenode#vsta> uriel, understanding is like love, it comes to those who accept it, not to those who beat it with a stick ;)
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zcram@freenode#cat-v> "Mebibyte" sounds something an earthworm would yell when it is being put on a fishHook.
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<kfx@freenode#cat-v> [...] is it like #freebsd where networking questions are met with complaints about george bush?
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garbeam@freenode@cat-v> my proposal is that github needs a button on each project "Report spam" button
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WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A KNIFE EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE AN OLD PERSON - ASCII Art Farts
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<kfx@freenode#cat-v> TAOCP is fucking crucial, it's what allows you to explain to your python-obsessed boss exactly why python, mathematically, can go fuck itself
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__20h__@freenode#cat-v> 1 yb (yard bit) = PI / 3 + 0.2143 eb (european bit)
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"Can you hammer a spike through a six inch board with your penis?" "Not right now." "Well, a girl has got to have her standards, you know?" -- Real Genius
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perhaps Plan 9 is just the Black Books of software? - Charles H. Forsyth
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zcram@freenode#cat-v> Clown commuting! Trust your valuable data with us! We know how to take good care of it. Our technititians are 24/7 working on making best effort to sustain first-class enterprise level utilisation of important details.
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this change placates the "paxctl" tool on so-called hardened Linux distributions (as if normal distributions weren't already hard enough to use). - Russ Cox
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Why you are so obsessed by wildly mixing politics with your failure to understand... that there is no inconsistency in formating of composite literals and that
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type declarations are not the same construct? -- befelemepeseveze answer to Joan Miller in the go-lang-nuts mailinglist
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<soul9> friend just travelled to sierra leone: he didn't have enough bandwidth for xmpp. irc was working fine
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<kfx> haskell is [a domain specific language], specific to the .edu domains
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<kfx> I gave a 'brief history of php' presentation once about how one of the core devs quit because he hated jews and the most prolific scurity dev quit because nobody listened to him about all the horrible shit he found
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Even if you think that a lobotomized flatworm could understand your instructions, your luser probably won't. -- alt.sysadmin.recovery FAQ
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<Athas> Well, Linux printing was designed and implemented by people working to preserve the rainforest by making it utterly impossible to consume paper.
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In IEEE 754 sqrt(-0) = -0
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<aiju#plan9> Ein Netzwerk [network], Ein OS, Ein Hase [bunny]
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<EthanG#cat-v> rc isn't syntactic sugar so much as a small but nicely balanced meal. Not quite substantial enough to be a steak, perhaps it's a fisherman's pie. Bourne shell is more like a raisin and bacon pie with a sprinkling of sugared corn flakes on top.
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<kfx#cat-v> "Adobe May Change To Monthly Patch Cycle" sounds suspiciously close to "Adobe May Change To Monthy Python Cycle"
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I've talked myself into a superstition. - rob pike
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awk with their heads! -- stanleylieber
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<sqweek#inferno> oh wow, [in acme-sac] up and down arrows move the cursor instead of scrolling, that's... kind of annoying
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[The] MIT/X [license] is the best balance between "Keep respect to me." and Kim-Jong Uriel['s] "yes, build your physical package with it." -- Christoph Lohmann
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Mastering css is like mastering throwing shit into a fan -- dreadlorde
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Don't make your internal product name 'assmonkey', or you'll wind up with a real product named 'assmonkey' -- bramcohen
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he's a ruby programmer. sex won't be biologically feasible for him for a few more years -- kfx
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I honestly and deeply hope you fail completely. - Uriel regarding a project to convert arXiv to XHTML/MathML
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Metadata is always true! -- 20h
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The bikeshed has already been painted, and the painter has gone. -- Russ Cox on a proposal for changing the Go syntax.
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There's no sense in reading books, when there's a computer game. -- 20h on Dune
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Incestuous necrophilia. -- A literary fetish practiced by Brian Herbert and Christopher Tolkien among others.
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Facebook is an online social Dawn of the Dead. Sign up to network and thousands of people you vaguely remember are trying to eat your brain. -- found by EthanG on someone's... twitter feed.
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The X documentation is full of lies. -- Theo de Raadt
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<jordanb#emacs@freenode.org> I think it's hilarious that you're doing xlib programming and your nick is 'kruhft'
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[software security] placebos need to keep getting more complex to keep working. -- EthanG
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Should I be concerned that I've been rebuilding main on amd64/i386/powerpc for the last ~12 hours and nothing's failed yet? Success is almost always indicative of impending doom. -- Adam Conrad, on building Ubuntu packages
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<blizzard> Mitch_Bradley_: I had dinner with the guy who created EFI the other night <cjb> blizzard: during the dinner, did he start wishing he had some kind of piercing implement to eat with, and then proceed to design and implement it?
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<uriel> fuck plan9
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<aiju> [the] W3C couldn't make bread without at least three different comitees and several hundred megabytes of XML involved
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If you love job security and don't respect yourself, you will love Perl. -- xardox in reddit/r/proramming
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1975: EWD506 page 2: The German adoption of ALGOL 68 has had a similarly paralyzing effect upon the Germans as the Russian decision in the late sixties to develop as their next national computer series a bit-compatible copy of the IBM 360 - the greatest American victory in the cold war! (PDF)
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The password you entered is invalid. Remember to use only letters, numbers, and underscores in your password.
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<ment> i hope there is some dishonesty otherwise i would be very disappointed in mankind
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<jse> If you've ever observed how these modern people (SIC) treat their pets and their kids, you can tell it's the tail that wags the dog.
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Harry Potter is the worst thing to happen to the printed word since the Web. -- kfx
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<dv-> i don't understand why firefox uses cpu% even when it's not doing anything <kfx> [firefox] is always doing something, even if it's just calculating the
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opportune moment to crash inexplicably
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<EthanG> C++, the programming language which is nearest to human language yet! It has achieved context-dependance, what a great step! <aiju> EthanG: does C++ have insults yet? <uriel> C++ *is* an insult
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<via> there's a reason linux users don't use lilo anymore, it [is] called progress <martian67> if progress is grub2, i guess im a luddite
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when in rome, FUCK THE ROMANS -- Capso
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I use Plan 9. Which is equivalent to saying I don't use computers. By transitivity, it's the smarter choice. -- Capso
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Linux - every program, package, piece of code, depends on some shit that will make you want to scoop out your brains with a melonballer -- Capso
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using debian is like deciding you want your computer to be run by the [Ministry of Information Retival] in the movie Brazil -- kfx
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100% of the shit I make up about Linux turns out to be true. Either now or in the future. -- Capso
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Linux is the embodiment of Plato's philosophy: by the time you have a shitty idea, it already exists in the mythical world of Linux. -- Capso
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Whatever you want, wchar_t is not the solution. -- Moritz Wilhelmy
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the scene leaves anime alone because anime is the domain of wolf-shirted mouthbreathing aspergers-suffering lardasses -- kfx
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ktsuss stands for "keep the su simple, stupid", and as the name says, is a graphical version of su written in C and GTK+ 2.
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<andguent> 9P AND HTTP ARE THE SAME. JUST LIKE BICYCLES AND SUBMARINES. I REST MY CASE.
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all bridges conceal trolls -- Stanley Lieber
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<kfx> why does gnu ls link against libpthread <sl> kfx: both begin with l, right <jse> When in doubt... link it.
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<__20h__> I get horny, when people call XML exml.
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[ 35.998] (II) Integrated Camera: Configuring as keyboard
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calling Kant's philosophy bullshit seems a bit harsh to me, actual bullshit has practical applications as a fertilizer -- aiju
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If terrorists hate us for our freedom, does that mean they're starting to love us?
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Voting is an essential part of the bureaucratic process.
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romanticism: pick something random evil and terrible, convince yourself it's actually good and utopic, ???, PROFIT -- aiju
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using a GUI is like being a sub in BDSM. your every action is constrained... -- EthanG
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man would poke his eye out to fit in. -- auntbeast
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[Parrot/Perl 6 are] "the right thing" + Perl, thats some sign of the apoclypse -- martian67
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Arsenic and Old Libc
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The Importance of Being EMACS
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The Comedy of Errnos
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Much ADA About Nothing
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if the Berkeley folks designed a spoon, it would be part of the dishwasher -- aiju
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The Russian equivalent of 'rubber-hose cryptanalysis' is 'thermorectal cryptoanalysis', which refers to a joke about using rectal insertion of a soldering iron.
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OOP spelled backwards is POO
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puritanism is the fear that somebody somehwere, someplace might be happy
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martian67: cat-v is the fear that somebody somehwere, someplace might be happy with their software
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kfx: cat-v is the fear that somebody, somewhere isn't fucking martian67's mother in the ass
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<martian67> becoming a hacker is very tao like, you become it by not caring about becoming it <sl> becoming a janitor is very tao like, stop yapping and pick up a broom
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izaki: There should be a project to port spanish swearing to the international community... open-hostia
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martian67: there you go uriel, there is the cat-v draw: an international effort to tell everyone to go fuck themselves
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welcome to #cat/b/
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reasonably priced speech
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<kfx> getting involved with the AUR is like fucking a fat chick to make yourself gay
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<kfx> GLIB: Gay/Lesbian/Indeterminate/Bisexual - The library package that will fuck ANYTHING
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I want to type Tab at the beginning of an empty file and suddenly my new project appears. -- 20h on tab-completion
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cat-v.org - refuge for promiscuous women
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Graham's number (n.): the number of Ranma Saotome's fiances
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trolling is freedom, trolling is peace, trolling is our revolution! -- 20h
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we [people of #cat-v] should get renamed to cat --warning_level verbose -- aiju
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[6523481.895302] Out of memory: Kill process 9452 (java) score 463 or sacrifice child
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once I did software for the military, it was a requirement that the ratio between comments and code was at least 2.5. -- Aram
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1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, announcing "this language has all the memory safety of C combined with all the blazing speed of Smalltalk." -- From a brief history of programming languages.
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"You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books." -- Dogbert on his 'Zero clicks Purchase' patent.
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If you're in need of a good startup idea: Claim a patent for crossing fingers to build a luck generator. -- mono in hackernews
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BIND people could put security holes into a hello world program -- aiju
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http://cat--show-nonprinting.org/
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if Darwin truly did have an uncut copy of Mendel\u2019s work, it is quite an exhortation to read all your email. -- John Carmack
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"why would you do that" "what didn't ken do" "what would rob mock" "what would dennis say something nice about while simultaneously implying that you
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are a fucking moron"
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sweet I'll click a reddit link to find out what fast-food employees think about programming -- kfx
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Rebooting with dbus+hal: dbus-send --system --print-reply --dest="org.freedesktop.Hal" /org/freedesktop/Hal/devices/computer org.freedesktop.Hal.Device.SystemPowerManagement.Shutdown
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I hear the chicks in Dresden used to be hot -- kfx
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Error: opening audio device: Success
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<kfx> __20h__: I'm an internationally ratified ISO standard. <__20h__> kfx, are you XML based? <kfx> no, asn.1
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<Tanami> plan 9 has a thriving and friendly community
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assert(assert(assert(assert(assert(assert(1)))))) /* check for cosmic radiation */
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<chowder> hello all. I'm interested in plan9 but I really don't know much about it. I have yet to read all of the docs but I was wondering if anyone was interested in porting wayland to plan9
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<cinap_lenrek> i just know pokemon exception handling... catch them all
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The Universal Serial Bus is a complex and, therefore, a popular bus on personal computers and other devices. - nemo
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treating info as a replacement for man pages is arrogance beyond any rational description. Then again, the quality of documentation for most GNU software matches that of the code. -- Lyndon Nerenberg
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it's like instead of taking a bath, you buy a monster air filter, so no one will notice the stench. -- erik quanstrom on the creation of GNU info to manage Emac's documentation.
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<aiju> ken is one of the parts you need to make an uriel <aiju> a bit of Ken, a bit of Friedman, a bit of Jesus and Hitler as a solvent <EthanG> aiju: I 'heard' that to the tune of Mambo Number 5
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This can't be what you mean. http.Handle("/foo", http.TimeoutHandler(h, 3600e9, "fail whale")) will work for the first hour and then send 503s forever after. That's only useful if you're trying to implement Twitter.
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<Capso> Freud retroactively copied Dahl when he entitled his manifesto, "The Growth and Maintenance of Nazi Household Naming Complexity: From Birth to a Dysfunction Future"
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<martian67> http://www.tomshardware.com/news/hdd-ssd-data-encryption-notebook-hdd,12595.html <martian67> once again plan9 is way ahead of the curve <martian67> its had a filesystem that automaticly destroys data for years now
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aiju's plan9 faq - Q: does plan9 have ... ? A: no
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<kfx> what just happened to my net connection <sl> kfx: maybe the people you steal wifi from are filing their taxes with turbo tax. <kfx> no way I'm totally paying for this connection now <sl> kfx: maybe the people who steal wifi from you are filing their taxes with turbo tax. <kfx> this is south baltimore <kfx> these people all hire jews for that
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EFI should be renamed to WTFI -- aiju
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aiju: ACPI -- Abominable Crap Produced by Intel
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hilter was a filesystem -- Capso Markov
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These appliances offer an innovative, pragmatic approach to harness the power of SOA while simultaneously enabling you to leverage the value of your existing application, security, and networking infrastructure investments. -- Actual description of IBM's "XML Firewall" appliance.
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enterprise product descriptions are also written by Markov bots -- aiju
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